What I’ve Learned About Living With Anxiety & OCD (And Just Being Human)
By Jen Lescher, LCSW, LICSW
As an OCD and anxiety therapist with lived experience of having OCD, I have found that there are certain truths about life that you are repeatedly confronted with when you’re dealing with OCD or related anxiety disorders. What I mean by this is that there are aspects of life that you are have to accept when you are recovering from OCD—and while these truths are not exclusive to people with OCD, they tend to feel unavoidable and much more pressing when you live with it.
These are not just “OCD truths,” but fundamental realities of being human. The difference is that when you have OCD, you are often forced to consciously, and sometimes insistently, accept and surrender to these realities. In this post, I want to describe some of the truths that I (both myself) and my clients have to confront regularly.
Everything is Uncertain
We cannot predict anything with complete accuracy. We can’t, in theory, be 100% sure about anything, and in theory, almost anything is possible. When you really think about it, we don’t actually know anything for certain—and no one does. Instead, people are constantly relying on trust: trust in themselves, trust in others, trust in their judgment, their senses, and their lived experience. Based on that information, people make choices and move forward with their lives. But trust is not the same thing as certainty, because certainty, in the absolute sense, does not exist.
Trust vs. Certainty: Why They Are Not the Same Thing
Let me offer an example to help illustrate this idea more clearly.
You know that you love your friends and family—but how does someone actually know that for sure? Is it possible that one day you might decide you don’t love them? Is it possible that one day you might do something that intentionally hurts someone you love? That probably doesn’t sound like you, and it likely doesn’t align with your values or behavior—but is it technically possible? Yes. There is no objective test that can measure love with complete accuracy and certainty. You don’t “know” that you love someone in a provable, objective way. Instead, you are trusting yourself, your inner sense of knowing, your emotional experience, and your perspective over time. There is no absolute certainty that can be assigned to love—only trust.
Living With Risk: How Uncertainty Shows Up in Everyday Life
Here’s another example, and one that I often use with my clients. I live in the Los Angeles area, where there is a known and ongoing risk of fires. A fire could burn my house down at any moment—it is technically possible. So does that mean I should be constantly checking outside my window to see if there is a fire? Should I be monitoring the news all day to see if there are any new fire warnings? I will never have certainty that a fire won’t occur. It is always theoretically possible that a fire could destroy my home. Instead, what I am doing is accepting that there is risk in where I live, and until I have evidence that there is a fire, I am making my best and most reasonable guess that I am safe. If you think about it, this applies to nearly every area of life: we are constantly making our best guess that we are safe, while knowing that risk and uncertainty always exist.
Acknowledging Safety, Privilege, and Reality
I do want to pause here to acknowledge that many people in the world do not have access to safety and do not have a choice. That reality matters, and it is important to name it.
For the purpose of this short blog, however, I am specifically writing about the experience of people who are currently living in relative safety and who do have some degree of choice available to them.
When you have OCD and are working toward recovery, you have to accept risk, accept uncertainty, and learn to trust yourself. That is the core of OCD therapy. There is no way around it. You can do all the compulsions in the world. You can ruminate for hours and hours, research endlessly, and go deeper and deeper, trying to figure out your obsession. But no matter what you do, you are still faced with the reality that life is uncertain. Learning to trust yourself, though, can protect you from what often feels like a very scary truth about life.
What OCD Therapy Really Asks of You
So how does OCD therapy actually make you confront this? Let me use an example to illustrate the point.
Let’s say Harrison has health OCD. More specifically, he fears contracting an STI like herpes or HIV—conditions that can be lifelong and are often stigmatized. Because of his obsessions and compulsions, his world has grown very small, and he feels deeply depressed. Eventually, he begins working with an OCD specialist.
Through that work, Harrison comes to accept a difficult truth: there is always some level of risk in sexual activity, even when someone is careful and takes precautions.
He learns that he can trust himself to act safely and thoughtfully, because those choices align with his values. And even in a worst-case scenario—if he were to contract a lifelong STI—he can trust himself to take care of himself, to show up for himself, and to survive the pain, even if others were to reject him. That wouldn’t be easy. But recovery means accepting that this outcome is possible if he dates and has sexual contact with new people—and trusting that he could cope if it happened.
No matter what Harrison does, and no matter how many compulsions he performs, risk and uncertainty will always exist. Self-trust, however, remains a powerful and reliable tool. This is true not just for OCD, but for life: uncertainty is unavoidable, and trusting ourselves is how we move through it.
Uncertainty Is Unavoidable, Self-Trust Is the Way Through
In my next blog, I’ll discuss another universal truth that OCD therapy asks us to confront. Stay tuned.
If you find yourself wanting more structure, support, or guidance with this process, working with a therapist who understands both the clinical and lived experience of OCD can be incredibly grounding. Jen Lescher, LCSW, offers OCD therapy in Boston, MA, and Los Angeles, CA, where I work with individuals to help them shift out of rumination and build a steadier relationship with thoughts, emotions, and uncertainty.
Move Forward with Trust and Confidence Today
Whether you’re navigating intrusive thoughts about health, relationships, performance, or the many everyday uncertainties that life inevitably brings, Jen Lescher, LCSW, is here to help you move forward with confidence and clarity.
If you’re curious about what therapy could look like for you, either in Boston or Los Angeles, you’re invited to reach out and schedule a consultation. This can be an opportunity to explore what support feels like for you, at your pace and on your terms.
Explore more blog posts for insights into OCD, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and more.
Begin learning self-trust with the help of a therapist who truly gets it.
Additional Resources to Support Your Journey
In addition to personalized OCD therapy, I provide resources to help you bring what you’re learning in sessions into everyday life. The Common OCD Themes page explores the intrusive thoughts and behaviors many people experience. The OCD and Social Life page focuses on how OCD can affect friendships, dating, and relationships, sharing practical strategies to strengthen connections and build confidence while managing symptoms.
About the Author Jen Lescher
I’m a therapist, a devoted coffee lover (truly of one my favorite daily comforts), and someone who really values small moments of presence. That might look like slowing down with mindfulness, getting lost behind my camera, or taking a quiet walk just to notice what’s around me. Photography, in particular, helps me stay grounded and curious—two qualities I bring into my work with clients as well.
I’ve been interested in healing and spirituality since my teenage years and have explored many paths along the way, from meditation to energy-based practices. At the same time, I’m just as likely to be blasting music in the car or deep into a true crime podcast. To me, healing isn’t only about stillness or insight—it can also include movement, humor, and moments of joy. Therapy should have space for all of that.
I’ve worked in a wide range of mental health settings since 2007, and that experience shaped one of my core beliefs: healing is never one-size-fits-all. It’s personal. It changes over time. It can feel messy. And it’s always possible.
Training & Background
Inference-Based CBT (ICBT) for OCD – The OCD Training School & The Cognitive Behavioral Institute
Certified in Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) – The Cognitive Behavioral Institute
Gottman Method Couples Therapy – Level 1
Master’s in Social Work – Portland State University, 2012
