OCD and Rumination: Learning When to Disengage
In my last post, I talked about why people with OCD tend to ruminate and why it can feel impossible to stop, and even necessary, to keep ruminating. In this post, I'm going to talk about ways to reduce rumination. I've written about this topic a lot and keep coming back to it because rumination is such a big part of OCD and related challenges. It's a sneaky, quiet compulsion that often drives the OCD cycle, so let's talk about how to reduce it.
First, I suggest reading these two blog posts:
These posts outline ways to disengage from rumination using a wide range of skills learned in OCD therapy. But something I didn't talk about much in those posts-and that I think is a huge part of reducing rumination-is the idea of surrender.
Surrendering Control: A Key Skill in OCD Recovery
I realize the word surrender might have some negative associations for some people. It can carry unwanted spiritual, religious, or 12-step connotations. If you don't like that word, you can replace it with unhooking, allowing, or even a visual. I often picture a clenched fist relaxing and letting go-that's what surrender feels like to me. Choose what resonates with you, but for the sake of brevity, I'll use the word surrender in this post.
Why Rumination Is an Attempt to Control the Uncontrollable
When we're ruminating, we're usually trying to control something we cannot control. And since we can't control it, entering the thought pattern becomes a trap. Our mind tells us that if we can just figure out this unsolvable problem, then we'll be able to move on with our lives. But can you see the trick here? The problem is unsolvable. Thinking about it will get us nowhere.
Maybe it's a problem we could solve in the future, but not right now. Maybe it's something we'll never know. Or maybe it isn't even a real problem-we're just imagining one. In therapy, I help clients learn to differentiate between real problem solving, rumination, and imaginary problems. In any of these cases, however, we have to surrender control and give up trying to figure it out.
Letting Go Sooner Rather than Later
You're going to have to get to this step eventually, so why not accept it sooner rather than later? What I mean is: with the unsolvable problems that OCD loves to latch onto, you could ruminate forever, trying to solve it, control the outcome, make sure everything is perfect, but you can't. You could ruminate endlessly and still end up in the same place: having to accept that you can't control the situation, and that you have to surrender and let life move forward.
Accepting that OCD Triggers Will Happen
To go a step further, we also have to come to terms with the fact that our OCD fears will get triggered from time to time. We cannot control when, where, or for how long we'll experience our triggers.
As a therapist specializing in OCD, I see so many of my clients catastrophize when their OCD gets triggered. I hear things like,
"Oh my god, it's like I'm back to square one,"
"What if it's like this forever?" or
"I don't want to have OCD at (future event)."
Sometimes your OCD is going to get triggered-and that's out of your control.
Why Letting Go Can Actually Reduce Anxiety
Here's the thing, though, sometimes your OCD is going to get triggered, and that's out of your control. What I talk about in therapy with my clients is that when OCD gets triggered, it doesn't mean it is an emergency and that it is going to last forever. The truth is that OCD is going to get triggered sometimes, and you might have a hard time with it.
But it doesn't have to turn into a full-blown flare where OCD interferes with your entire day. If we allow fear to get activated sometimes and surrender our attempts to control it, meaning we give up trying to control when, where, and how long we feel distress, we will likely experience fewer overall OCD and anxiety symptoms. I walk clients through this process allowing fear to be present without making it an urgent matter.
I know-it's a paradox. The idea that the less you do and the more you let go, the better you feel, goes against our instincts and a lot of wellness messaging.
When Coping Skills Become Compulsions
"Nervous system regulation" is such a buzzword right now, and like many therapeutic concepts, I think it can be misused, especially for those of us who are neurodivergent and have OCD. People with OCD tend to be over-controlling. We try to control outcomes, strive for perfection and efficiency in certain areas of our lives, worry about how we're perceived, avoid feeling out of control, and struggle with "negative" emotions, so we try to manage everything to avoid feeling them.
We want to fix things. We love a plan, an outline, directions. But that's not our medicine.
In fact, it can make things worse. Trying to regulate by exercising, breathing, distracting, doing specific grounding exercises, or following rigid self-care routines can quickly become compulsions. I'm not saying don't take care of yourself, not at all. Please do those things. But not as a way to control your internal experience or to make the OCD fear go away.
Those tools won't help you control your emotions in the way OCD wants. What will? Giving up control and surrendering.
I know...it's a little disorienting.
I'll write more about this paradoxical approach to anxiety and OCD in my next blog post, especially since this might be confusing. Stay tuned.
OCD Therapy in Boston, MA & San Diego, CA
If you're finding yourself stuck in rumination, trying to solve things that don't have clear answers, or feeling pulled into constant mental loops, this is exactly the kind of work we focus on in OCD therapy.
Jen Lescher, LCSW, offers OCD counseling in Boston, MA and San Diego, CA, working with people who are navigating rumination, intrusive thoughts, moral OCD,ROCD, and other anxiety-related challenges. Together, the focus is on helping you step out of the OCD cycle, reduce compulsions (including the mental ones), and build a different relationship with uncertainty.
Start Practicing a Different Response to Rumination
If you're noticing how quickly your mind pulls you into loops of overthinking, analyzing, or trying to "figure it out," this is the work. Not getting rid of the thoughts, but changing how you respond to them.
That might look like catching yourself mid-rumination and gently stepping away. It might look like allowing uncertainty to be there without trying to solve it. Therapy at Jen Lescher LCSW gives you structure and support as you practice these skills.
Reach out to schedule a consultation and learn more about OCD therapy
Explore more blogs on rumination, intrusive thoughts, and ERP
Begin practicing small moments of letting go, even when it feels uncomfortable
Additional Resources to Support Your Journey
In addition to personalized OCD therapy, I offer resources to help you carry what you're learning in sessions into everyday life. The Common OCD Themes page explores the intrusive thoughts and patterns many people experience, while the OCD and Social Life page looks at how OCD can impact friendships, dating, and relationships, along with practical ways to stay connected while managing symptoms.
About the Author: Jen Lescher
I'm a therapist, coffee lover, and someone who values small moments of presence-whether that's mindfulness, photography, or a quiet walk. Photography, especially, helps me stay grounded and curious-two qualities I bring into my work with clients.
I've been drawn to healing and spirituality since my teens and have explored many approaches, from meditation to energy-based practices. At the same time, I'm just as likely to be blasting music in the car or listening to a true crime podcast. To me, healing includes stillness, humor, movement, and joy.
I've worked in mental health settings since 2007, which shaped my belief that healing is never one-size-fits-all. It's personal, evolving, and always possible.
Training & Background
Inference-Based CBT (ICBT) for OCD - The OCD Training School & The Cognitive Behavioral Institute
Certified in Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) - The Cognitive Behavioral Institute
Gottman Method Couples Therapy - Level 1
Master's in Social Work - Portland State University, 2012
