How to train your mind to stop overthinking? Strategies from OCD Counseling in Boston, MA Part 2
In my last blog post, I talked about how overthinking — also called rumination — fuels anxiety disorders and OCD. I also shared some ways to begin reducing rumination, such as using attention-training skills (learning to recognize when you’re ruminating and then gently redirecting your attention) and exposure statements (phrases that help you lean into uncertainty instead of feeding the overthinking loop).
Understanding Rumination as a Learned Habit
In this post, I want to talk about other ways to work on managing rumination. But if I’m honest, I’ve been struggling to find the right words for how to change this habit — because, paradoxically, the change comes from not trying to change it. Rumination is often mistaken for something that “just happens” to you — as if your brain automatically generates it without your involvement. But rumination is actually a learned mental habit. It’s something your mind has practiced for so long that it now feels automatic. The good news is that if it’s a learned behavior, it can also be unlearned. And that unlearning starts with doing less, not more.
Why Doing “Less” Is Actually the Work
Let me explain, because this is an important shift in perspective. When I use words like “reduce,” “manage,” or “work to change” rumination, I am concerned that they might actually reinforce the habit of overthinking itself. That’s because, at the core of anxiety disorders and OCD, we’re not learning to do more — we’re learning to do less. We’re learning to give up control. We’re learning to actually do nothing about our thoughts, fears, and anxiety.
Here’s why: every time you respond to an intrusive thought or anxious feeling by trying to fix it, analyze it, or make it go away, you’re sending your brain the message that it’s dangerous or meaningful. That keeps the fear alive. The more you engage, the more your brain learns to treat the thought as a threat. So, ironically, learning to stop overthinking isn’t about doing anything at all — it’s about practicing the art of doing nothing. I know I mentioned this in my last post, but it’s worth repeating: understanding why we practice doing nothing helps us actually commit to it.
Now, I know that might sound confusing, so let me explain a bit more.
Rumination Isn’t Automatic — It’s a Habit You’ve Practiced
Rumination — or overthinking — is a habit. It’s not something that happens to you, and it’s not automatic in the same way your heart beats or your stomach digests food. It’s a pattern you’ve practiced repeatedly until it became second nature.
Think about other habits: leaving the dishes in the sink, gossiping, or checking your phone while driving. Those things might feel automatic, but they’re still choices — and choices can be changed. You could stop procrastinating on the dishes, stop gossiping, or stop texting while driving. You wouldn’t need a complex system to do it; you’d just start not doing the behavior until your brain caught up and the new pattern became familiar.
It’s not easy, and progress rarely follows a straight path. Change tends to move in loops — two steps forward, one step back — because humans aren’t perfect and so the process of change isn’t either. But with time, patience, and awareness, your mind can relearn what it means to disengage.
Practicing Noticing — and Then Letting It Be
The same principle applies to rumination. Instead of getting pulled into analyzing, predicting, or endlessly dissecting risks or responsibilities (which are common OCD themes), you can practice noticing when it’s happening — and then not doing anything. That means not diving deeper into the spiral of “what ifs,” not mentally arguing with the fear, and not trying to find certainty.
When you do that — when you practice noticing and doing nothing — you’re unlearning the habit of rumination. That’s why phrases like “reduce overthinking” or “change rumination” or “manage anxiety” can be misleading. What we’re really doing is an undoing. We’re learning to stop interfering — to let the thoughts and feelings come and go without trying to manage them.
It sounds simple, but it’s not easy. Why? Because you’re scared. You’re afraid that what you’re overthinking about might actually be true, or that something terrible could happen, and that fear feels unbearable. I get it — it’s painful. But just like with thoughts, we’re also learning to do nothing about our emotions.
Allowing Your Emotions Without Turning It Into More Overthinking
Our emotions are out of our control. We can’t get rid of them, change them, or decide when anxiety or fear shows up. But we can learn to stop fighting them — and importantly, we can learn to allow them without turning that allowance into another form of rumination. Allowing doesn’t mean analyzing how you feel, checking whether the feeling is getting better, or trying to “accept” perfectly. It means letting the experience be what it is without doing mental gymnastics around it. Allowing without ruminating is about making room for discomfort without needing to fix it — giving both your thoughts and emotions permission to exist while you continue living your life.
And that’s the real work of recovery from rumination and OCD: learning to stop managing your mind, and instead allowing it to be human — messy, uncertain, and imperfect — without needing to overthink your way out of it.
I’d also be remiss without mentioning the work of Dr. Michael J. Greenberg, whose development of Rumination-Focused ERP (RF-ERP) has significantly influenced how I approach rumination in therapy. His website includes a wealth of insightful articles and links to his podcasts on The OCD Stories — I almost always send these episodes to clients because they’re so helpful. To learn more:
Website & Articles: https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/articles/
Podcast episode (e.g., RF-ERP Q&A #429):
Getting Support for OCD and Overthinking
If you’ve been trying to make sense of intrusive thoughts, rumination, or the constant urge to figure things out, working with a therapist who understands OCD can make a meaningful difference in how you navigate daily life. These patterns are deeply learned — and unlearning them takes structure, guidance, and a space where you don’t have to pretend that your mind isn’t doing what it’s doing.
I offer therapy for OCD in Boston, MA, and I also work with clients throughout Massachusetts via telehealth. At Jen Lescher LWSC, I also provide online OCD therapy to individuals across Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. Whether you’re dealing with relationship-focused thoughts, overthinking your friendships, or feeling stuck in cycles of anxiety, our work together can help you build a new relationship with your thoughts — one that’s less about control and more about stepping back from old mental habits.
Take the Next Step Toward Changing Your Relationship With OCD
If rumination or intrusive thoughts have been shaping your days, you don’t have to keep navigating that pattern on your own. Working with a therapist can give you a clear framework, steady support, and a path forward that isn’t built on fighting your mind — but on learning a new way of relating to it.
I offer therapy for OCD in Boston, MA, and I also provide online sessions for clients across Los Angeles and throughout both states. If you’re curious about whether this approach might be right for you, you’re welcome to reach out or schedule a consultation.
Explore my blog posts for more insights into OCD therapy and rumination.
You deserve a space where you’re understood, where your experience is taken seriously, and where you can practice stepping out of the mental loops that have kept you stuck.
Additional Services I offer in Boston & Los Angeles, CA
Along with one-on-one OCD therapy, I also offer supportive resources that address challenges many clients face outside of sessions. On the Common OCD Themes page, you can explore detailed insights into recurring thoughts and behaviors. The OCD and Social Life page offers guidance for managing friendships, dating, and relationships while living with OCD and anxiety. These resources are designed to complement therapy by providing practical tools and new perspectives, extending your growth and healing beyond the therapy room.
About the Author: OCD Therapist
Hi, I’m Jen.
I’m a therapist, coffee enthusiast (honestly, it’s my favorite ritual of the day), and a big believer in finding small moments of calm—whether that’s through mindfulness, photography, or a quiet walk with my camera in hand. Photography helps me stay grounded and see the world with a little more curiosity, and that same mindset shows up in my work with clients. I’ve been drawn to spirituality and healing work since I was a teenager, exploring everything from meditation to energy practices. But I’m also someone who loves blasting music in the car and getting lost in a true crime podcast. I think healing can include both stillness and movement, reflection and laughter. Therapy should have room for all of that. Since 2007, I’ve worked in a range of mental health settings, which taught me that healing isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s personal, evolving, and sometimes messy—but always possible.
Training & Background:
Inference-Based CBT (ICBT) for OCD – The OCD Training School & The Cognitive Behavioral Institute
Certified in Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) – The Cognitive Behavioral Institute
Gottman Method Couples Therapy – Level 1
Master’s in Social Work – Portland State University, 2012
